The Art of Sandra Busby...
Painter of Playful Light in Glass and Still Life

Thursday, 29 December 2011

The day the fairy-lights went out.




I said I wouldn't post until the New-Year, but we find ourselves in bits following the most awful Christmas.

This post is for Codi, our dog, who died unexpectedly on Christmas day.




I have never felt such a loss in my whole life and this feeling is only amplified by the fact that as I work from home, we were virtually never apart and not only that, she was a dog that always made sure her presence was known.

Now, her presence is only 'felt' and earlier today I found myself opening the back door to let her in.  It's the strangest thing.


 When I have heard people speaking of  a 'heavy heart', I always thought that it was just an expression, but now I know that it is a true physical feeling. My heart feels as though it is being dragged down in to the pit of my stomach and I find myself constantly fighting back tears.









I am never usually a person to share negative feelings, but hopefully you will understand that just this once I can't do anything else.












I feel like I should be posting so much more but this is just too painful.




I hope that all of you had a much brighter Christmas.


'We love you Codi - and you will always be here, right by my side xxxxxxxxx'













27 comments:

  1. Sandra, I am so very sorry. He was a beautiful lad. I still feel the loss of Sweetie after 5 years, but the pain lessens, and the good memories remain.

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  2. Sandra,
    I am so sorry right now. But I am sure you are strong and will move on with the cherished memories of Codi.

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  3. So sorry for your loss; things will one day be brighter, and you will always have happy memories of Codi.

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  4. ...traigo
    sangre
    de
    la
    tarde
    herida
    en
    la
    mano
    y
    una
    vela
    de
    mi
    corazón
    para
    invitarte
    y
    darte
    este
    alma
    que
    viene
    para
    compartir
    contigo
    tu
    bello
    blog
    con
    un
    ramillete
    de
    oro
    y
    claveles
    dentro...


    desde mis
    HORAS ROTAS
    Y AULA DE PAZ


    COMPARTIENDO ILUSION
    SANDRA

    CON saludos de la luna al
    reflejarse en el mar de la
    poesía...




    ESPERO SEAN DE VUESTRO AGRADO EL POST POETIZADO DE FLOR DE PASCUA ENEMIGOS PUBLICOS HÁLITO DESAYUNO CON DIAMANTES TIFÓN PULP FICTION, ESTALLIDO MAMMA MIA, TOQUE DE CANELA ,STAR WARS,

    José
    Ramón...

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  5. Oh Sandra, I'm so sorry. Your sketches and painting of him must be wonderful momento's.

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  6. That is so sad Sandra, it's like losing someone from the family. Take your time to grieve & remember him.

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  7. Oh, Sandra!!! My heart is breaking for you! Those furry children steal our hearts! I'm sending you virtual hugs:) I'm so happy that she had such a good home and that you were able to be together on Earth for as long as you were. May you draw on the happy times.

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  8. So sorry, Sandra. I have lost two dogs - the first was old and had cancer, but the second one was unexpected - it is such an awful feeling and I do feel for you. Remember the good times - and you have some lovely momentoes in your drawings. Codi will stay in your heart for ever - I know - Gemma and Shadow will and I still miss them, but I have wonderful, happy memories of both of them.

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  9. Oh my dear sweet friend. My heart is breaking for you. I am so very sorry. What a beautiful and sweet girl. Sending you all my love and hugs to help you heal in this sad time.

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  10. Sandra, I'm so so sorry. It is so hard to lose a pet, especially unexpectedly and on a day that was intended to be one of celebration, but instead your family had to deal with this painful loss. My heart goes out to all of you, and I hope that in time, the painful memories will be replaced by fond ones of all the happy times you spent with Codi.

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  11. Its a dreadful pain, isn't it?
    You don't know where to put yourself or what to do, because they're gone. Losing one you love hurts.
    The thing to remember is you did get to love her; she would have cherished that time as much as you.
    She'll always be with you, right next to you, on silent paws. One day the pain will ease and the love you shared will bring only smiles. Until that day, will be thinking of you and offering virtual hugs . xxx

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  12. Hey Sandra. That is very sad, sorry to hear it. Mine died a few months ago quite suddenly too. I was surprised at how heavy my heart felt. I felt better knowing he was looked after and nearly always had company. Sounds like Codi had a good home and a happy life with lots of good company which is all that matters. Many dogs are not so lucky. I love the lying down sketch, reminds me of mine. :)

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  13. Dear Sandra, I completely understand your pain: I recently lost my sweet cat, Venus, and it's really a pain that you can not explain, but only try... these faithful friends come into our hearts, loyally accompany us with their presence and their fidelity, and leave a great void behind them... but remains the memory of so many moments spent together, and the love we felt for them can turn to in welcoming another new puppy in need of our love ... I am close to you, a big hug!

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  14. Sandra, I am not at a loss for words, and know only too well the feeling of a heartache . I am so sorry to hear this and on Christmas Day not that it matters but a day that should have been joyful turned into a sadness.
    You will feel her presence and think you hear her, and open that door, it is what we do.. when something has been taken from our day.
    There are no words to make you feel better and time does not heal all wounds. I just think we learn to live with losses because we have no other choice. your friend , BJ

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  15. Sandra, that is awful news, and on Christmas day too, which is usually such a happy time.
    We've lost two dogs to cancer, the first of which I buried in the garden unable to see what I was doing because of tears in my eyes. Then on the day of my mother's funeral, my pet budgie was found dead at the bottom of his cage. Life can give you a kick in the teeth sometimes.
    So sorry.

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  16. Oh that does knock the wind right out of you. I'm so sorry to hear this. I know you have wonderful memories but also know that right now, they're overshadowed by immediate loss. It will be better.

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  17. Sandra, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that heavy heart you speak of as I have lost my canine companions twice now. They leave a large empty hole but it is one that will gradually fill with wonderful memories. Hugs.

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  18. Dear Sandra I apologize very much for my delay in expressing my sadness and emotion for the death of Codi. I know very well the pain we feel when our dog leaves us forever. It 'happened to me and I know that it will have to happen again (my dog has almost 16 years).
    It was really terrible that it happened on Christmas Day! I can only imagine your mood and the pain you have felt! I am close to you with my heart. A big hug. Tito.

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  19. Hello Sandra,
    the sketches are beautiful dog!
    His painstaking technique I like very much. And these sketches have a great movement. A lot of grace in difficult poses!
    Congratulations and Happy New Year!

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  20. oh Sandra, my heart broke for you when i read your sad news. i can't imagine how i would feel to lose either of my two dogs but i know i already dread the day so can only guess how it must feel for you to have lost codi on such a poignant day. she was a beautiful girl and my thoughts are with you. you have captured her beautiful spirit in yout art. i'm so very sorry for your loss. xx

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  21. So sorry to read of your loss and yes I know the feeling having been there myself with my own running companion. I hope the New Year brings you much joy and the sadness becomes instead an inspiration as it seems to have already begun to do.

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  22. i'm so very sorry sandra ..big hug jane

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  23. Sandra, I am sorry about Codi. Your post is so expressive with your words and your pictures of Codi. hugs, liana

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  24. sandra, i just heard, i'm so sorry i haven't written sooner. i've been down with dental surgery. i am so very sorry to hear this. this is so very sad. what a terrible loss and on christmas day!! my heart aches for you. i know what a terrible terrible pain the loss of a beloved pet and family member feels like and i'm sending you all the love and support i can. many, many hugs, suz

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  25. Oh Sandra!!! I am so sorry about Codi!! Pets are like family and I can only imagine the pain you're feeling!! thank you for sharing these beautiful pictures and amazing watercolor of Codi. Sending you many hugs!!!

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  26. Hi Sandra,
    Reading this late, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was for the passing of your dog Codi : ( You created some beautiful work of him!

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